


5504 Miles

by veraverto



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: ChanSoo - Freeform, M/M, Mention of Kaistal, Sexual Content, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2019-03-08 02:32:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13448664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veraverto/pseuds/veraverto
Summary: The now famous Jongin meets his high school sweetheart again after 7 years in the movie set; a place he least expected. And Jongin only has one night to win him back before he goes back to London (again).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello this is a crosspost fic from kaisooaufest! This is the longest fic I have written and I enjoyed writing this in the middle of writing my thesis, kkkk. To my lovely betas/buddies E, R, and B, you guys are my savior. Also, NODTT mods are amazing too!! And importantly, this fic is based loosely from a local movie called "What's With Love?2" so if you find it rather cheesy... Well yes it's just as cheesy as it should be. Enyoy :-)

As a good old friend of Oh Sehun, there is nothing that Jongin won’t do—including coming to Sehun’s filming site which is located hours from Seoul, even in the cold wind of October. Just a week ago, Jongin sent a food truck to support Sehun and the crews. Sehun told him that he’s thankful but he’s not satisfied with only a truck of churros; he wants Jongin to come in person—all the way to Gyeongju.  
  
Initially, Jongin wanted to decline Sehun’s invitation but then it’s Gyeongju; the city of ancient in the eastern part of Korea. The town is surrounded by forests; its pathways form a beautiful gradient of autumn color from the fallen leaves. He thinks that it’s a good time to see greeneries after years of working in a busy environment like London.  
  
After four hours of lonely drive, Jongin finally arrives at Gyeongju. Jongin doesn’t regret coming here at all because he gets to see what he wants to see. The leaves, the trees, the air; Gyeongju is as perfect as he imagines. It’s not holiday season so not many tourists come here, making this place more serene and soulful.  
  
He will stroll around Gyeongju later. For now, bro first.  
  
When he finally meets Sehun, the lanky guy hugs him tightly. He cannot believe that Jongin really comes here. The female staffs only giggle seeing the two of them bickering like an old couple—but they mostly cheer because they can see Kim Kai, the returning Korean _bae_ who was once a pretty famous young idol. (He still is, actually.)  
  
It is publicly known that Oh Sehun is a good friend with Kim Kai. The sun-kissed guy appears regularly on Sehun’s SNS account, posing this and that with his silly celebrity best friend. Jongin might leave for London a few years back to pursue his career as a full-time model, but the amount of reporters that Jongin encountered at the airport when he went back to his homeland a week ago proves that he’s still desired and not forgotten by Korean public. Well, there were only two or three—but still.  
  
And now as Sehun pulls back, Jongin’s effortless charm is also caught by none other than the director of Sehun’s movie. Director Hwang is delighted when Sehun introduces him to Jongin. Since director Hwang is a fan of (any) handsome man, she immediately asks whether Jongin wants to appear as a cameo. Jongin cannot say no when somebody who asked him is an award-winning director.  
  
Jongin gets a small role; a traveling nobleman. Jongin doubts himself at first because the only acting gig he has done is for commercials and music videos. Director Hwang only laughs it off and says that there is no way that a charming person like him can’t do proper acting.  
  
“You can do it,” Sehun says lightly when Jongin tells him.  
  
“You’re not helping,” he says.  
  
“Not helping? Hey, I just got you a role.” Sehun’s mouth puckers into a pout. “Just pretend that I’m your lucky charm, okay?”  
  
Jongin titters.  
  
With that, Jongin is required to stay for the night since the scene will be shot tomorrow morning. Jongin doesn’t mind at all because he initially plans to stay for two nights to explore Gyeongju. He already books a room in the same hotel where Sehun stays, anyway.  
  
  
  


✈✈✈

 

Jongin just washed up when somebody knocks the door to his hotel room. He peeps to the hole and finds Sehun in his bathrobe, grinning while lifting two soju bottles.

Jongin hasn’t even said ‘come in’ but Sehun already slides himself into the room. “Need somebody to practice your line?”

Jongin rolls his eyes. “It’s more like, ‘wanna drink with me?’”

Sehun grins. “You know me so well. What time are you going to start shooting tomorrow?”

“Seven in the morning, I suppose?”

Sehun clicks his tongue. “Then you can’t drink too much.”

Jongin shakes his head, “No, I won’t drink _at all_.”

Sehun facepalms, and then plops himself to the sofa after pouring the Korean liquor to a glass he gets from the counter.

“Seriously though, you are a man of no taste. You don’t know how to enjoy your adulthood, Jongin. I thought living in London for five years would make you less ancient.”

“ _Ancient?_ I’m not an artifact!” Jongin pouts. His best friend laughs. Jongin adds, “Also, British beers taste awful. It doesn’t match with the chicken they have there.”

“Oh please, not chicken again. I’m sick of hearing your obsession of fried chicken. Why don’t you tell me about your love life instead?”

“Ha-ha,” Jongin snorts. “As if I have one,”

“But you do! How about your relationship with that Korean-American model? Um, Diamond Jung?”

“You mean _Krystal_?”

“Yeah, that girl.” Sehun waits for Jongin, but he doesn’t say anything. “What? Was it a set up?”

Jongin shifts in his chair, “Well, it’s not entirely a set up, but the most important thing is that we’re still in good terms although the media has reported our break-up a few months ago.”

Sehun gasps. “So that _was_ a set-up? Do you know how many hearts that you broke with that dating news?”

Jongin beams. “I bet a hundred thousand? Heheh, I have lots of fan, you know.”

Sehun eyes him. “You really are an artifact for some people, then. Long-lost lover. Forgotten lover. Whatever,” Sehun rolls his eyes. “Anyway, tell me, Jongin, why are you coming back?”

“I’m running my sister’s errand, didn’t I tell you?”

“Right, your sister. I know that. But—but there’s something you didn’t tell me.”

Jongin blinks.

“Hey,” Sehun starts softly, “Last week, when you just came back, you barged in to my place looking like a zombie who had died twice. I didn’t ask you what’s wrong back then because I knew you’d tell me someday, so I just let you. You can tell me now. And it’s not about work. You mumbled _your ex’s name_ when you slept, Jongin.”

Jongin sighs. He doesn’t know if having a friend like Sehun is a blessing or a disaster. He knows too much. He knows where to bring Jongin when he’s in a bad mood, knows what to say when Jongin is down, and he knows that Jongin is lying or hiding something right now.

Jongin leans in and reaches the glass, refilling it with the soju. Sehun sneers and gives his best friend a triumphant look.

Jongin sniffs at the unpleasant smell of the liquor, but he swallows it all while scrunching his nose. His throat burns. At least he needs some encouragement.

“So…” he starts.

“So?”

“So, you know I’m an ancient freak who likes to send postcard, right? Just a month ago, I received a letter. It’s a reply to my last postcard that I sent to Korea a year ago.”

Sehun frowns, letting time passes as he digests the information. He then finally opens his mouth, “Don’t tell me it’s _that_ postcard?”

Jongin nods.

“Yeah, it’s the postcard that I should’ve never sent. I accidentally dropped it to the post box, and the recipient actually received the card.”

Sehun suddenly claps. He gets up and randomly dances to celebrate his cleverness.

“I knew it. It’s about Kyungsoo! See? I’m so genius I think I can get my master’s degree without turning in my thesis paper!”

“I didn’t even say a name…”

“Duh, you guys were the only weird couple who send postcard to each other instead of sending e-mails or anything normal in this millennium era. So what does the letter say?”

Jongin’s shoulders sag. “To sum up, _’Fuck off’_.”

Sehun gulps. “Holyshit.”

“Indeed.” Jongin lets out a desperate chuckle. “But I’m a rebel; now I want to meet him. He’s been occupying my mind too much lately.”

“What are you gonna do when you meet him?”

Jongin smiles. “To mend things back, of course.”

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Only taking very little soju and nothing more was a nice decision. Jongin wakes up early in the morning without a severe headache, but his head still hurts for the lack of sleep. Sehun kept him awake until two in the morning, draining Jongin until he told him everything.

When Sehun was about to leave Jongin’s room, he said that he needs to settle things real soon. “You’ve been in Korea for a week, Jongin. And you still haven’t talked to Kyungsoo. Gather your courage and go get him tomorrow!”

Jongin scoffed. “I haven’t been idle. The first thing I did when I arrived at the airport is heading to Ilsan. I went to his home, but his family doesn’t live there anymore.”

“Listen to me, Jongin,” Sehun clutched Jongin’s arm, demanding an eye contact from his best friend.

“When I said you have to talk with him tomorrow, I really meant it.” Sehun’s eyes might be red from the alcohol and the tiredness, but the look in his eyes was solemn.

“Not tomorrow, I have filming schedule.”

Sehun squeezed Jongin’s arm and smiles. “Exactly.”

Jongin doesn’t understand what Sehun really meant until he meets Kyungsoo in the very morning.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

“You look so tense, are you okay?” a trenchant voice asks Jongin who’s unconsciously shaking his knees while his face is being polished. The lady smears a pink blusher onto Jongin’s cheeks.

He never likes pink blusher.

He looked at the lady’s name in her nametag, “I’m fine, um, Miss Park Yoora.”

Yoora smiles. “Don’t worry, Director Hwang is a funny person. You’d like working with her,” And then Yoora tells him about how great Director Hwang is, and Jongin is having a hard time keeping his eye contact with Yoora when all of his attention is glued to a short man who’s walking back and forth near the make-up truck, carrying some costumes while yelling to his junior who cannot keep their pace.

It’s Kyungsoo.

Freaking _Do Kyungsoo_.

Jongin cannot be wrong. It must be him; he’s still short, alright, and his voice remains the same. He’s got piercing on his left ear too, if Jongin is not mistaken but clearly can see something gleaming on his ear.

He refrains to not to ask Yoora about him but then Jongin’s heartbeat won’t slow down forever if he doesn’t.

“Um, excuse me to interrupt, that guy over there…”

Yoora turns her head, “Oh, right, Kyungsoo!”

Jongin swears his blood stops running for a second when Yoora mentioned his name.

It’s really him.

“Kyungsoo!” Yoora yells again, now making Kyungsoo turns his head to their direction. Jongin abruptly grabs make up magazine lying on top of the table to cover his face before Kyungsoo sees him.

“Yes, Noona?” Jongin hears deep, soft voice coming closer.

“Is that the costume for the next scene?” Short pause. “Then wait here, I’m sure that one’s for him. I’m going to finish giving make-up soon.”

“Alright,” the soft voice answers.

Jongin hears Kyungsoo hops in to the truck and pulls the chair near him as it creaks when Kyungsoo sits down. Jongin holds his magazine tighter, and then his heart almost jumps when he realizes that he’s holding the magazine upside down.

“My dear,” Yoora singsongs, “I can’t draw your brow if you cover your face. After this you’re done, I promise.”

_Damn._

Throwing his pride, Jongin coughs and slowly pulls down the magazine. Yoora continues to fill his brow with a pencil, meanwhile Jongin tries to look at Kyungsoo from the corner of his eyes.

It is a bad decision because their eyes meet when Jongin’s heart hasn’t prepared for it yet.

If Kyungsoo is shocked, he doesn’t show it. His face doesn’t twitch, but the look in his eyes states that he’s as clueless as Jongin. This makes Jongin more nervous.

“Okay, now you’re good to go,” Yoora says, giving a thumb up before turning her head to Kyungsoo.”Hey, don’t scare him with that glare, will you?” She chuckles before she gets off the truck and leaves.

Now it’s only the two of them in the make-up truck.

Three, with the mannequin in the corner.

The only sound they can hear is the bird’s chirping outside, and maybe their own rapid heartbeats.

Jongin’s eyes skip around the room; left, right, anywhere but Kyungsoo’s direction. He _did_ tell Sehun that he wanted to meet Kyungsoo, but not this soon! And now Jongin’s courage is nowhere to be found.

“Um,” Jongin clears his throat. “The hanbok…”

Kyungsoo still eyes him fiercely, and then half-throwing the outer hanbok to Jongin.

“Why are you here?” Kyungsoo probes.

Jongin doesn’t expect a warm welcome, really. “I—came for Sehun. And, uh, Director Hwang wants me to be a cameo.”

“Then you can do it yourself, can’t you?” Kyungsoo says, referring to the hanbok. His tones are ice-cold, and Jongin cannot bear looking at Kyungsoo who’s now standing while crossing his arms in front of him.

Jongin slowly nods. “I’ll try…”

Jongin thinks that Kyungsoo will go after handing him the hanbok set, but he stays there, sitting while crossing his legs. The frown between his brows hasn’t disappeared, though.

Jongin starts by discarding his jeans, leaving him in white T-shirt and boxer. He quickly wears the satin trousers and then fastens the bands on his waist, and then slips his arms into the _jeogori_. He sighs in relief when there’s still one piece of thick outer silk robe because it’s pretty cold outside. The robe is light blue and it has some delicate decorations around the collar. This _durumagi_ is the last piece of hanbok, so he’ll just tie the long ribbon and then he’s done.

But Jongin sucks at tying. He tries fastening it but then the tie loses again, and again, and again. This is one sole reason why he doesn’t have any converse in his shoe closet.

Jongin finally looks at Kungsoo helplessly. Kyungsoo sighs and walks slowly towards him. Instead of tying the belt, Kyungsoo opens the robe and then finds that the _jeogori_ , the inner shirt, isn’t properly tied either.

“You haven’t changed,” he mutters softly. After that Kyungsoo’s arms encircles Jongin’s waist to measure the length of the band as the overcoat belt. He then starts to tie it like a pro. The taller man lifts his arms a little to give Kyungsoo easier access to adjust the belt.

And suddenly he’s thankful that at the age of twenty six, he (still) cannot tie anything properly or he won’t get this close to Kyungsoo.

When the distance is only one fist away, Jongin can smell Kyungsoo’s cologne—the same cologne he used during high school.

It’s so _him_. Kyungsoo tends to use the same thing over and over again like the green pullover, the striped backpack, or the black Nike until they’re worn out, and he’ll use the same brand for years if he really likes it. If Kyungsoo says that he prefers something new to the old, comfortable one, then it’s a lie. His own loyalty betrays it.

Jongin’s heart beats fast and he cannot think straight when he catches a whiff of familiar scent of musk and sandalwood. Jongin’s head starts to recall things from the high school era when he snuggled his nose in Kyungsoo’s neck to inhale the relaxing scent, and then sneaking in to suck some skin until he left a purple mark. And he wouldn’t stop at that. He’d be happy when Kyungsoo smiled and then pulled his nape to draw him into a kiss, his delicate fingers rubbing to his neck and sometimes his chest. They would whisper the word of love to each other until Sehun forcefully pulled them back to earth before they went further.

Except that right now is not high school. The era has been long gone, but it doesn’t stop Jongin from grinning into the memories.

“Why are you laughing?”

Jongin stops grinning and then he stutters. “Um, no. It’s just… years have passed, and you’re still wearing Tamdao. It’s been… five, six years?”

Jongin will regret later because he brought the topic of time.

“You mean seven?” Kyungsoo sneers. He takes one step back and then turns around to rearrange the make-up tools on the table, his back facing Jongin. “Let me do the math. It’s been _seven_ years since we last met. That was at the airport. And then, it’s been five years since you last called. And last year, you _finally_ told me that we’re breaking up.” Kyungsoo puts the make-up into a box, but not gently.

“Do you want some additional explanation? You left me for four years without any explanation.”

Jongin bites his lips hearing the sarcasm in Kyungsoo’s tone. “I’m—I’m sorry.”

His meek apology only gets a shrug from Kyungsoo.

“Oh, no, no, it’s okay,” he says it lightly, a bit over-pitched, even. “Because it has been **years** , just like you said.” He gives the stress at the word ‘years’ while closing the make-up box with a loud thud.

Well. He’s clearly angry right now.

“And I think it doesn’t matter to you anymore now that years have passed. Doesn’t it, Jongin?”

Before Jongin can answer, Kyungsoo turns around and then busying himself rearranging the make-up tools that are scattered on the desk.

Jongin tries to change the topic. “I—I didn’t expect to see you here, hyung. I thought you’re working in a gallery in Gangnam.”

“I did. I’m still a painter, though. I’m just holding a different brush,” He lifts his ID card and it says ‘Do Kyungsoo – Make-up Department’.

Jongin nods. “Ah, I see. I thought you’re in charge of costume,”

“I’m just helping.” Kyungsoo walks toward Jongin and then fixing Jongin’s collar. He looks up at Jongin’s face and sigh. Jongin goes red in the face because he doesn’t expect this at all. He thinks that Kyungsoo would slap him or something.

“Your lips need some color.” Kyungsoo rummages through tons of lipsticks in the box.

Jongin claps his hands a little too excitedly when he remembers something. “Oh, I remember now. You once helped the girls from drama club to apply their make-ups. They were very satisfied because you did better than them. So, now you’re going pro? Whoa hyung that’s cool!”

Jongin sees Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, making Jongin somehow embarrassed because he is the only one who’s excited to meet again.

Kyungsoo lifts up his chin a little to apply some lip gloss to his lips. Jongin is now sitting in a plastic chair while Kyungsoo stands between his legs to apply the lip gloss. Jongin wants to close his eyes and succumbs to Kyungsoo’s touch, but he wants to count Kyungsoo’s eyelashes as well. They never seem so pretty like this; illuminated by morning rays of sunlight that creeps through the truck’s open door.

He doesn’t care if Kyungsoo isn’t delighted to see him, or angry at him, even, but Jongin _is_ happy. He can’t help himself but chuckles.

“Stop laughing, I can’t apply this properly.”

“Hehe. Sorry. I’m just glad you look healthy, hyung.” Kyungsoo stops coloring Jongin’s lips to let him speak. “And actually, I’ve been looking for you.”

“Why?”

“Well, you replied my letter.”

Kyungsoo sighs. “And I told you to fuck off.”

Somebody knocks the doorframe before Jongin can say anything. It was the assistant director.

“Kyungsoo, Kai has to be ready in five minutes. He can wait in the tent, okay?”

“Alright,” both of them answers.

“Hyung, wait—you’ll be around, right?”

Kyungsoo flips his not-so-long bangs. His hair strands fall slowly onto his forehead. Now he has very short clean haircut, but Jongin still wants to ruffle that hair if he’s given the chance.

“Well, I’m working here.” Kyungsoo answers.

“Does that mean that I can see you again?”

“I’m busy, though. Come on you have to hurry up,”

Jongin catches Kyungsoo’s small wrist before he turns around and gives it a light squeeze. “See you later?”

Kyungsoo looks at Jongin in the eyes. He gives up.

“See you later,”

Jongin nods and smiles. He knows that it’s kind of a good start, but he doesn’t know that the warmth from his hand lingers in his hyung’s skin for the rest of the day.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

The first thing Kyungsoo does after he makes sure that all actors look flawless is looking for Sehun. He finds him resting in the tent, drinking orange juice with his sunglasses on. He doesn’t have any scenes today, but he’s here anyway.

Kyungsoo kicks Sehun’s shin right when he approaches the younger, and the latter just laughs at his hyung’s annoyed expression. The other staffs doesn’t really bother that their main actor is getting kicked (“HYUNG, IT HURTS!”), because they know that Sehun and that small guy from make-up department are best friends prior to Sehun’s dramatic announcement on the first day of filming.

“You little brat, why didn’t you tell me that he’s coming today?” Kyungsoo screeches. He sits beside Sehun and swears softly because if he had known that Jongin would come here today, he would pretend to be sick and not coming to work at all.

The younger friend only laughs it off. “Hyung, listen to me, if I didn’t do that, you guys will never ever meet. Jongin doesn’t know either that you’re here.”

Kyungsoo clicks his tongue. “Still, you should’ve told me.”

“But I think you guys need to talk... Finish what you haven’t finished.”

Kyungsoo still looks troubled, so Sehun keeps talking even though he’s not sure if his hyung really listens. “I know he’s breaking up with you in a very un-cool way. I can’t believe he’s sending a postcard, a freaking Big Ben _postcard_ saying that you’ll be happier without him and that you should forget him and find someone new and _blah blah blah_. He’s dumb, an asshole, if I may say. But hyung, you have to know that he never forgets you even once. You can check his wallet; I bet he slips your photograph underneath his credit cards.”

Kyungsoo still hasn’t said anything. He looks at his own boots with a frown on his face.

“It’s been too long, Sehun. I forgot him already. I have—” Kyungsoo doesn’t finish the sentence. He breathes the cold air and lets it out with a hard feeling. “I have moved on. And you know exactly why I can’t get back with him.”

Kyungsoo stares at Sehun sternly.

Sehun sighs. “Chanyeol doesn’t have to know that you meet him, hyung. Just give Jongin a chance to explain. I know he has reasons.”

“I don’t think I can bear spending time with him anymore. I was almost furious earlier.”

“Hyung, you don’t need much time. Maybe an hour is enough? Let him explain; you listen to him, and then you guys are done.” Sehun raises his eyebrows. “How’s that sound?”

Kyungsoo contemplates. “Only an hour?”

“Yes. Give him an hour. And then you can go,”

Kyungsoo closes his eyes. _Should I?_

 

 

✈✈✈

 

In the meantime, Kyungsoo strolls around the set carrying his make-up box and finally sits on the bench with other staff. Currently, Director Hwang is taking Jongin’s scene and Kyungsoo cannot deny that he’s curious about Jongin’s acting. And he is kind of hiding behind a bulky man so Jongin won’t see him.

After several takes, Jongin’s part is done. The staff claps and he’s getting compliments especially from older female staff. Jongin then looks around and catches Kyungsoo sitting on a bench while hugging his make-up box. He waves to his hyung, but Kyungsoo doesn’t flinch. He clearly sees Jongin doing that, but he won’t budge. He is sure Jongin can’t see him. But Jongin waves harder.

Kyungsoo looks around to his right and left but then nobody seems to acknowledge Jongin, so he points his index finger at his own face. He mouths, “Me?”

Jongin nods vigorously. Kyungsoo is taken aback.

Jongin approaches Kyungsoo with light steps, lifting his robe, trying to walk carefully on the stone steps and then whines about how hot it is.

“When can I get off this costume? It’s hot, hyung. The morning sun makes it hotter.”

“The sun’s harmless during this time. You can change that later,” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. Jongin is weird. He’s hot when everyone feels chilly.

Wait, not _is hot_ , but _feels hot_.

“Should I undress myself? It’s too hot. You would help me undress, right?”

“Yeah yeah I will, now you go back to the set. Director Hwang might need you.”

Jongin grins and chuckles slowly, and that’s when Kyungsoo gets the pun.

_Oh dear God._

“I-I mean, I won’t undress you! I’ll just help you take the costume back...”

Jongin laughs. He remembers he always teased Kyungsoo only to trigger his reaction (which is mostly cute, awkward reaction but still cute).

Jongin scouts closer and fanning himself. When the bulky man excuses himself, Jongin sits there.

“Hyung, when is your shift done?” He says it carefully, almost whispering.

“Why? I’m not even sure.”

“If… If you have time, if you’re not tired… Can we talk?”

Kyungsoo looks at Jongin’s pleading eyes, and then looks away before he drowns in the brown of his iris.

“I don’t know… I guess I’ll finish late.”

“I’ll wait?”

“Oh, you guys are here!” Yoora, coming towards them, chuckles. “You’re friend with Kai too, Kyungsoo? I should be aware sooner because Kai is friend with Sehun, and you’re friend with Sehun too.”

Jongin smiles. Yoora sits beside him. “Yes, noona, he’s my high school senior.”

Yoora nods. “So the three of you are high school friends. How was he during high school time?”

“Just the same, only a little smaller,” Jongin answers. He backs off when Kyungsoo glares at him.

Yoora laughs.

“Your senior is cute, isn’t he? Tell him the piercing doesn’t suit him.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “My ears are mine so don’t tell me what to do.”

“Wow, look at this kid, trying to be scary.” Yoora eyes him. “Anyway, you’re coming to the gala dinner, aren’t you, Kyungsoo? It’s later tonight.”

“Eh, gala dinner?” Jongin asks.

“Oh, right!” She turns to Jongin. “I guess you’re invited too. That, if you’re still in town. It’s like, a monthly outing.”

“Are you coming too, hyung?”

Yoora answers for him, “Of course! For staff, it’s mandatory. We’ll have a small meeting. Well, kind of.”

Jongin smiles, “Well, let’s see,”

He winks to Kyungsoo when Yoora’s not looking. Kyungsoo covers his face with his palms.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Apparently, ‘gala dinner’ means squeezing fifty or so people to a small restaurant that serves delicious chicken and beers. Jongin’s overwhelmed by the film crews’ bond; he sees people from different department blend with the others in each table.

Thank God he doesn’t wear anything fancy; only jeans, purple dress shirt and a blazer. He almost wears slacks and bowtie when he heard ‘gala dinner’. Jongin forgets that it’s not the modeling world. In that side of the world, gala dinner means showing off table manner skill and maybe how ‘important’ someone is, according to the table arrangement. And then there’s a party after, preferably with no strings attached to their bodies.

Sehun tells him to eat with him and other actors. After a while, he excuses himself to look for Kyungsoo. Sehun gives him a wink before Jongin responding it by rolling his eyes. Jongin finds Kyungsoo at the table near the entrance with some ladies; probably the rest of make-up department. Yoora is there too. Initially Jongin wants to text him to meet him outside but then he forgot to ask his number.

He tries so hard giving signal to Kyungsoo without really appearing in front of his co-workers. He just doesn’t want Kyungsoo to be gossiped or to be taken advantage just because he’s “friends” with celebrity.

Finally, Kyungsoo notices Jongin’s cue and excuses himself. He grabs his green parka and his bag. Yoora notices Jongin and then the tanned man bows to the head of make-up department.

Kyungsoo follows Jongin to the parking lot, and then Jongin opens the passenger door for Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo hesitates. “I thought we’re just going to talk.”

“We will. But not here. Let’s go for a drive?”

Kyungsoo sighs. For a split of millisecond, his heart says no but then he won’t be in peace if he doesn’t settle _things_ with Jongin. So he gets in and put the safety belt silently. Kyungsoo texts Yoora saying that he’ll come back late to the motel so the crews don’t have to wait up for him. It’s just Jongin anyway.

_He won’t kidnap me… He’s good at driving… He got the driver license earlier than I did..._

“Listen to me,” Kyungsoo starts as Jongin ignites the engine. “I’m doing this for Sehun. He wanted us to talk so… I think I should give it a try. I’ll give you one hour.”

Jongin chuckles. “An hour? Hyung, I think I need all day…”

Kyungsoo’s brows crease. “You mean all night? It’s ten o’clock, Jongin.”

“If I have to,”

“Wait, do you really mean it?”

Jongin laughs. He grabs his phone from the dashboard and then punches a voice mail button. “Yah, Oh Sehun, I’m taking Kyungsoo-hyung around, and I promise I’ll keep him safe. If he’s not back by tomorrow, you know who to sue.”

Jongin turns his head to Kyungsoo while smirking. “See? You’ll be safe. At least somebody knows where you are.”

Kyungsoo sighs, his head leans back to the headrest. “I hope you’re taking me to spa or something. My limbs are sore all over.”

The younger gives him a good laugh. “As you wish, your majesty.”

Well, it’s a good start.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

As expected, Kyungsoo falls asleep just after ten minutes of drive. Jongin actually doesn’t mind because he knows Kyungsoo should be resting right now after working all day long. Jongin had rested well after his scene is shot—he somehow got to stroll around Gyeongju to take pictures. He went to Gyochon traditional village and then visited Jungang market.

Jongin is kind of relieved now that Kyungsoo’s sleeping; he can eye him freely without getting a death glare. Kyungsoo still looks pretty. He loses the shape of his jaw, indeed, they’re replaced with the baby fats that actually fits him. He looks healthy; his skin is glowing, and his brows are still bushy. The only prominent change is the piercing on his left ear. The small, round metal earring is gleaming when the city streetlight shines through.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Kyungsoo finally wakes up when he feels the car isn’t moving anymore. He finds a blazer draped on him like a blanket, but Jongin is no longer in the driver’s seat when he searches him. Kyungsoo opens the door and then wears the blazer. The sleeves cover his fingertips and the tail of the blazer reaches his thighs.

“Where is this…?” his voice is hoarse. He desperately needs water. He grabs his phone from the pocket, squinting his eyes to focus on the too-bright screen to check the time.

00:02 AM.

Dear God, just how far is Jongin taking him?

He looks around, and then he realizes that he is in the parking lot in the rest area of a highway somewhere. But it seems familiar; he has been here before. Probably with the staff. There are food stalls and small restaurants, but most of them are closed. However, the parking lot seems full. He sees some people gather at the coffee stall, talking to each other to kill the sleepiness.

He sees Jongin sitting on the desk in front of the mini market across the car, a cup of coffee in front him. He approaches him while stumbling on his feet.

“ _Yah_ , you kidnap me.”

“Oh, you woke up.” Jongin pats the chair beside him, telling Kyungsoo to sit there. “I’m sorry, hyung. I should’ve let you go home. You look so exhausted. I didn’t have the heart to wake you up. So I drove and I went too far…”

“It’s okay.” Kyungsoo puts his head on the table carefully so he won’t knock Jongin’s coffee.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo looks at Jongin. “Since when do you like coffee?”

“It’s not mine.” Jongin moves the coffee cup an inch closer to Kyungsoo. “Tofee nut for you. There’s Starbucks right there.”

Kyungsoo stares at the cup and then sighs. He doesn’t like it when Jongin still remember something of him, even the most trivial one. But then he remembers that Jongin doesn’t like coffee.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says. He’ll drink that later. “Hey, Jongin.”

“Hmm?” Jongin smiles. It’s the first time Kyungsoo calls him by name today. And he doesn’t know that his name will sound so good when Kyungsoo is the one who says it.

“I dreamt about the spa. And a good massage.”

Jongin suddenly laughs until his eyes are teary. “You’re so full of surprise, hyung. And actually, that’s why I’m taking you here.”

Kyungsoo makes a ‘what’ face.

“Are you still sleepy? Do you want me to carry you?”

Kyungsoo suddenly gets up. “No. I’m awake. Where’s the spa?”

Jongin grins. He can clearly see Kyungsoo’s ears redden. “Spa? Yeah let’s go to ‘spa’, Mr. Penguin.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and then following Jongin to the ‘spa’.

“I am not a penguin.” He says, flapping his sleeve.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

They walk past their car and enter the larger building across the parking lot. Well, it might not be a spa, but it’s as good as spa because Kyungsoo eyes shine brightly when he sees it: a row of massaging chairs.

Kyungsoo closes his eyes when he feels the chair moving softly and punches his back and his calves. He really likes Korean rest areas because they provide free massaging chair. Jongin joins him by taking the seat beside him. Jongin smiles, finally seeing Kyungsoo’s radiant smile after giving him a cold expression all day long. He silently puts his phone and films Kyungsoo enjoying the massage. The elder notices and snaps at Jongin.

“Don’t upload that online, ok-hayy?” his voice vibrates as the chair moves.

“No, this will be my personal collection. Who knows when I’ll be back to Korea again?”

“Oh?” Kyungsoo stares. “You’re not staying?”

Jongin smiles. “Yes. I’ll go back around next week.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything. He leans back to the chair and lets the machine do its work.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

After a good ten minutes, they’re back in the car. Kyungsoo buys another cup of toffee nut to keep him awake, but actually he’s awake enough after he gets a good massage.

Apparently, the rest area isn’t far from the outskirt of Gyeongju. They’ll reach the town in no time, especially at night like this when there are not many vehicles around. Now they’re back to the road with trees at the right and left side, giving signs that they’re close the town.

It’s two in the morning now, and Jongin thinks that it’s the right time to start the ‘real’ conversation. “Hyung, when did you receive my letter?”

“A year ago.”

“Did you read it?”

Kyungsoo eyes him. “I still remember word by word.”

“I… I should’ve never sent that letter. It was a mistake. I know this sound silly, but right then I was frustrated and then wrote the letter. I hesitated when I was about to drop it on the post box, and then I accidentally dropped it.”

“How silly,” Kyungsoo mutters. His eyes look straight to the darkness of the road.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin continues.

“For what?”

“For everything.”

Kyungsoo sneers. _‘Everything’ is too vague. There’s too much in everything, yet too little if you say it so lightly._

Kyungsoo’s eyes lock to the dashboard. “I thought I would never see you again.”

“Yet, here I am…”

“Yet here you are,” Kyungsoo closes his eyes.

Jongin clenches the wheel hard and shifts his sitting position. He coughs. “So, will you forgive me?”

Kyungsoo eyes him, trying so hard not to laugh because, oh my, does Jongin feels uncomfortable because of him?

“Why are you so awkward? It’s your own car.” Kyungsoo tugs Jongin’s left arm, sending signal for him to loosen up. “And you said sorry too many times today. Huh, what kind of atmosphere is this?”

Jongin pouts. “But you still haven’t answered my question.”

Kyungsoo lets out a small chuckle. “I’ll forgive you later.”

Jongin does not drive fast; in fact he is driving very slowly because he doesn’t want to drop Kyungsoo just yet. Kyungsoo’s touch still lingers on his arms, seeping through the fabrics of his shirt, sending sparks to his brain, to his heart, to his memories.

It’s been so long since they’re going on a drive. Kyungsoo, back then, kept Jongin awake by pinching him and talking to him when Jongin starts to doze off. They never traveled far; but Jongin tends to be sleepy when he’s driving. So wherever he went, he needed someone to accompany him.

And his senior Do Kyungsoo had the honor to be his traveling mate even though they’re only going to Goyang for the sake of tasting the famous _kimchi bokkeumbap_. It was a once-a-month trip, but when Jongin had a full control of his small Toyota because his sister had bought a new one, it became a weekly trip. He lost count how many Saturday nights he had spent with Kyungsoo; and he lost count how many times Kyungsoo mesmerized him.

He confessed to Kyungsoo under the starry night when they went camping with his friends. And Jongin was surprised because Kyungsoo thought that they’re already boyfriends since long time ago.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Kyungsoo breaks the silence of the night by turning on the radio. “Do you mind?”

“Actually I prefer you to sing instead.”

“Well, I don’t really sing anymore.”

“What a pity, you’re handsome when you sing.”

When Jongin doesn’t receive an answer, he turns his head to his right and then he actually sees Kyungsoo blushing.

Jongin tries so hard not to squirm in his seat.

“You’re… taking me back to the motel, right?” Kyungsoo says softly.

“Well, I came all the way to Gyeongju and then I met you, and all I can do is only to bring you to the rest area? Hyung, please. And you still haven’t forgiven me.” Jongin purses his lips.

Kyungsoo surrenders. “Just bring me home before my shift tomorrow.”

Jongin’s nose flares. “No problem! So, hyung…There’s this place that opens only at night. This place—”

“—Waaaait. If you’re taking me to the red district, I’d better get off here right here, right now. I’ll fetch a cab.”

“Nooo! Not that, hyung. No. _Oh gosh_. Let me finish!”

Kyungsoo laughs at the passenger seat. “I know, I’m just teasing you. There’s no red district in this area.”

“Huh, you’re making me nervous. And I’m taking you to the observatory, actually.”

Kyungsoo frowns because as far as he knows, observatory is only located in Seoul or Busan. “What observatory?”

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Apparently, the observatory which Jongin refers to is Cheomseongdae Observatory, the ancient one. It is located near Banwolseong Fortress. The observatory is one of South Korea’s national treasures, a heritage of Silla kingdom that existed hundreds of years ago.

Much to Jongin’s delight, the observatory is open. They walk to the stone building over the hill with three other visitors who also just came.

“You should’ve told me… I could bring my camera here.” Says Kyungsoo as he walks on the wet grass under. The path to the observatory is uphill but his energy is close to zero so Jongin has to help him by grabbing his arms and leads the way for him.

“After this, you have to treat me supper. I left the dinner before I finished eating _because of you_.”

“My bad, my bad. I’ll buy you meat if we find any open restaurant at this hour.”

They climb to the top of the stone structure, hoping to see the stars but the cloud’s too grey. The officer says it’s going to rain soon, that’s why the cloud covers the stars above.

So Jongin and Kyungsoo sit on the cold stone while warming their hands in their own coat pockets. Jongin let Kyungsoo wears his blazer because Kyungsoo’s green parka is too thin for two-in-the-morning air. Kyungsoo refused at first, but Jongin insist. He’s got himself an extra coat from the trunk, anyway.

They talk about their job in the past five years; what they did and what they didn’t. Kyungsoo finally finds out that Jongin couldn’t go home for years because of his strict management _and_ his visa problem. Jongin came back for _chuseok_ back then in 2013 when he had a chance, but he didn’t get to see his friends.

“I was struggling with my English—you know how shitty my pronunciation was, right? But then after a year, I can finally understand their accent without looking into the dictionary. And now I can survive the cinema without any subtitles. And guess what? While I’m gone, my eldest sister has been very productive. I’m uncle Nini now.”

“Uncle Nini?” Kyungsoo cringes at the nickname. “Well, I’m also an uncle of three… Seungsoo-hyung’s married not long after we graduate.”

“Oh, Seungsoo-hyung. I wonder how he’s doing now,”

“Oh, he’s very much alive and kicking. Still has a sly tongue.”

Jongin chuckles. “Yeah I remember him scolding us _all_ the time…”

Kyungsoo is fiddling with his nails. His nails are getting longer and he doesn’t like that. He really needs to cut his nails once he gets home…

“Look, hyung.” Jongin scoots closer to the shorter man. Not seeking warmth, but he’s afraid that Kyungsoo will go away, so he clutches his hand to the hem of the coat, as if to keep him close. “I’m sorry… for staying there longer than what I promised you.”

Kyungsoo holds his breath. He looks down at his boots, and then gets up to make stone rocks on the mossy stone fence. Jongin lets go the fabrics on his hands.

“Do you,” Kyungsoo starts, “do you know why our relationship didn’t work?” He turns to Jongin who’s also looking at him while nodding slowly.

It is a rhetorical question. Both of them already know the reason; the unspoken truth.

After high school graduation, Jongin was scouted by an agency and he’s got casted in some CFs. Soon Jongin became famous, but he wanted to be a model instead. He ditched his university to go to England to pursue his career; and he got accepted into a modeling school.

Kyungsoo sent Jongin to the airport that day, wishing Jongin a blissful life. Jongin promised that he would come back soon after he graduated, but then Jongin ended up getting accepted in Storm, the most prestigious modeling agency in London.

Kyungsoo understood. With that, Jongin had to stay there longer than what he had promised. There was no problem, anyway. They can keep in touch easily now that the internet did its job really well.

One year of their long distance relationship was perfectly fine. They sent e-mails every two days or so, and sometimes make international phone call even though it’s only for saying good night and good morning at the other side. Back then there’s no KakaoTalk or LineCall or such, so the only way to communicate was through letters, emails, and phone calls.

Being the romantic boyfriend, Jongin chose to send Kyungsoo postcards which he got from all around the states. Jongin had always been romantic; and he was really good with words. Sometimes he sent silly puns, sometimes he sent poems. Kyunsoo had become a postcard collector; he pasted all he postcards he got on the fridge door. Kyungsoo replied the message with pictures; of his and his friends, or even with Monggu when Kyungsoo was generous enough to visit Monggu at his house. Kyungsoo was never good with words, so he let Jongin did all the sweet talk.

They were happy.

But then, Jongin sent little postcards after six months; phone calls also became less frequent. And then at the second year, he never sent any. Kyungsoo knew Jongin was busy now that he’s a permanent model showered by tons of job, and Kyungsoo was also busy with his master’s degree so he didn’t really think much about it. He still saw Jongin on TV, though. He still mentioned Jongin’s name on late night prayer, as always. Besides, Jongin would come back in the meantime and they’d be fine.

Or so he thought.

After two years, Jongin didn’t come back. One day in the warmth of spring, Kyungsoo received a package from England. Kyungsoo was the happiest man right then. He walked pass his mother and go straight to the living room where the package lays. He knew it was from Jongin. He was expecting a longer letter, yet what he received was only a piece of postcard from London.

_‘Hyung, let’s break up.’_

There was more written under the first sentence, but Kyungsoo didn’t bother to read the rest of them. He didn’t come out from his house for a week.

Sehun and his other friends helped him getting back on his feet, and then Kyungsoo finally could forget Jongin when he met Kris, his boss in the gallery he was working at. But when Kyungsoo and Kris didn’t work out anymore, there was Junmyeon but then it didn’t last long either. Not even with Taemin who resembles Jongin so much.

Kyungsoo almost gave up. He laughed at the super cliché quote “first love never dies,” but it kind of hurt when he finally experienced it himself.

But life is a wheel. When a bad thing happened to you, there’s always a good thing following behind. Kyungsoo found his hidden talent; he could make the ugly duckling into a beautiful swan just with the touch of his fingers. He knows how to play with colors and he is a good friend with any kind of brushes. So when his boss decided to close down the gallery, Kyungsoo already knew what he wanted to do. Soon he’s joining some film productions or theaters, thanks to his friends and colleagues.

He knows that choosing this path means that someday, he’ll cross-path with Jongin, but so be it.

And apparently, it took them several years to meet again by fate.

The dawn is coming near, and the wind is getting colder. Jongin and Kyungsoo decide to end their star-hunting. Both of them are drowning in their own memories.

They walk to Jongin’s car in silence.  



	2. 5504 Miles

When Neither Jongin nor Kyungsoo talk, their stomachs do.  
  
Kyungsoo’s tummy growls first after they head out from the complex of the observatory, making him blush in embarrassment. He grips his safety belt tightly before turning his head slowly to Jongin.  
  
The taller man apparently is trying hard not to open his mouth to laugh by zipping his mouth, but thirty seconds after, his tummy growls too. Kyungsoo is sure it is not his tummy, so he suddenly pinches Jongin’s thigh so hard (“HYUNG, IT HURTS”) and then laughs until his eyes turn into crescent.  
  
“You’re hungry too, I knew it!”  
  
“I am, hyung, I am.” Jongin grins. “Do you want to grab some meal? I saw a tent back there. I think the ahjumma sells something.”  
  
“At dawn like this?”  
  
“Well, let’s give it a try.”  
  
Jongin makes a U-turn and then parks his car near the tent. He tells Kyungsoo to wait to make sure if they really sell meals, and then knocks Kyungsoo’s with a smile after he talks with the ahjumma.  
  
Kyungsoo follows, they sit on one of the tables in front of the car.  
  
The ahjumma greets them in a very heavy Gyeongsang dialect, asking if they were a factory worker because usually she sells porridge and soup for the workers who work overnight for the nearest construction site.  
  
“Does that hurt?” Kyungsoo aks as he eats his porridge.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Your leg, where I pinched you.”  
  
“Oh… no, it’s not.” Jongin shakes his head. “But it hurts when you don’t tell me anything about you. I did all the talking today.”  
  
“What do you want to know?”  
  
Jongin hums. He looks at him, and then lower his gaze to Kyungsoo’s hand. He doesn’t really pay attention to what Kyungsoo wears except the earrings, but now when they sit face to face like this, Jongin can see clearly the gleam of the ring he wars. The ring was silver.  
  
“The ring, where did you get it?”  
  
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Kim Kai, the fashion enthusiast.”  
  
Jongin laughs. “Nooo, no, I’m curious. Is that from your boyfriend?”  
  
Jongin means to say it jokingly, but he regrets that immediately when Kyungsoo nods.  
  
“Yeah, my boyfriend gave me this.”  
  
Jongin stops stirring his soup. He slowly continues stirring it again after his brain is done digesting the information. “Oh. I see,” he says, trying to sound as stable as he can.  
  
Of course.  
  
Why would he think that Kyungsoo is single? Of course somebody else would love him, would cherish him, protect him. He has come all the way here to, at least, give Kyungsoo some explanation, but then it would be useless if he cannot persuade Kyungsoo to love him _again_ when he’s so in love with somebody else.  
  
“I bet he loves you so much,” Jongin says.  
  
“He said he does.”  
  
“Then I’ll be at peace,”  
  
“Thank you. How about you? Are you still dating Krystal Jung?”  
  
“How did you know?”  
  
Kyungsoo chuckles. “Duh, it’s all over the news, Jongin. And you’re not a nobody.”  
  
Jongin stares at the brown in Kyungsoo’s iris. _I am, for you._ He clears his throat. “Well, not anymore. She’s not you. I’m still sorry, though. For leaving you, for breaking up with you through letter and not in person. I’m such a coward.”  
  
Kyungsoo nods. “You are. But,” he starts again, now leaning forward to look at Jongin in the eyes. “I was thankful when you send me the letter. If you didn’t send me, I would be forever in your shadow—not knowing where our relationship would go. For four years, Jongin.  
  
I kept thinking… Should I keep hoping that you’ll be back someday, or should I leave everything and move on? I was like a dumb teenager—running through the hallway when the postman came. I was jumping happily—I was expecting a long, loving letter but it turned out to be a break-up letter.”  
  
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath.  
  
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo folds his arms on the table. “What you did to me, is unforgivable.”  
  
Jongin doesn’t know what to say. His eyes fall into his fingernails. No matter how many times he apologizes today, he’ll always get the same result.  
  
“But,” Kyungsoo rejoices, “I already forget them. I buried them and promised myself I won’t dig it up again.”  
  
“Does that mean… we can be friends again?”  
  
“Friends?” Kyungsoo purses his lips. Jongin anticipates. He squares his shoulders; his ears are ready to listen to the worst answer.  
  
“I‘ll let you be my friend again if you pay all of these.” Kyungsoo smiles triumphantly while pointing at three bowls of porridge he just ate.  
  
Jongin draws himself up short. “HYUNG! You scared me.”  
  
Kyungsoo chuckles. “Let’s go, it’s almost dawn,” he says after he sees some workers fill the table near them.  
  
“You go first, I’ll pay.” Jongin rummages through his pocket and gives Kyungsoo the car key. “I still want to be your friend,”  
  
“You better be,” he says, catching the keys perfectly.  
  
  
  


✈✈✈

 

When Kyungsoo is waiting for Jongin in the car, he sees a wooden sign that reads “↗S NRISE (50m)” with illuminated ink. He squints his eyes to read it again, and he is sure that it means the place to see sunrise.

He gets out of the car again and asks Jongin to follow him to see sunrise.

“Oh, you saw the sign! I just wanna ask you too. The ahjumma just told me there’s a good place to look at sunrise. It’s up there, you see?”

Jongin points to the hill across them that starts to turn blue because the dawn has come.

“Well, no problem.”

“What are we waiting for, then?” Jongin smiles and offers Kyungsoo his hand. Kyungsoo reaches it.

He let Jongin leads the way through the bushes and they find a pathway that leads to the stone stair. There were no railings on both sides so they have to be careful as the stone is slippery. He still grips Kyungsoo’s hand tightly, his other hand holding the flashlight from his phone to make sure they step on the right path.

It’s not a long climb; they reach the top in no time. There is a bench near the edge of the cliff, so they sat on that wooden bench even though the bench creaks from their weight.

“I think not many people know this place?”

“Yeah, only the locals, I think. But this spot isn’t bad either.”

They spend their dawn in silence, looking at the sky that changes color into lighter shades as the sun comes up.

This is the best sunrise that Jongin has ever seen. He looks at Kyungsoo beside him, his face is illuminated with the morning rays.

“What, Jongin?”

“No, it’s just so pretty.”

“Yeah. I’ll come back here someday. It’s the prettiest sunrise I’ve ever seen.” He turns his face to Jongin and smile. “Good morning, Jongin.”

The prettiest sunrise, indeed.

“Good morning, hyung.”

 

 

✈✈✈

 

**06:53 AM**

“Thanks, Jongin, for dropping me.”

“I promised Sehun I’d send you back safely, didn’t I?”

“Still, you _kidnapped_ me.”

Jongin grins. “You sure you don’t want me to drop you in front of the motel?”

“Nope, thanks. Here is fine. I’ll just cross this park and then I’ll reach the back door of the motel.” He already takes off his seatbelt, but his fingers still plays with it lids, not letting it go yet. “Um, Jongin. When are you leaving for London?”

“I still don’t know, but not within this week. I still have to attend my sister’s party.”

“Okay. Then when are you coming back to Seoul again?”

Jongin hesitates. “I… I actually don’t have plans to go back. My company wants me to renew the contract. So…”

“So you’re not going to be here. Again.” It’s just a whisper, but Jongin already feels guilty.

Jongin stares at Kyungsoo. “I’m sory.”

“It’s okay. I kinda get used to it, anyway. So today’s the last day I’m going to see you?”

Jongin frowns. “Don’t say that. I will call you when I come back, I promise.”

“No, no. It’s okay. You’ll be busy, I know that.”

“I’ll call you.” Jongin reassures.

“No—you don’t have to. We’re just friends now, Jongin. You really have no obligation to—“

Jongin sighs. He has had enough and then he takes off his safety belt abruptly; his hand reaching for Kyungsoo’s left cheek and leans in to brush their lips together.

The kiss lingers and feels hot on each other’s lips. Jongin breaks it immediately, pausing only to feel each other’s warm breath and that makes him dizzy. Kyungsoo blinks; his eyelashes tickle Jongin’s cheeks. Slowly, Jongin nibbles Kyungsoo’s upper lip and moves to kiss the corner of his lips, to his jawline, and then back to Kyungsoo’s lips.

Kyungsoo doesn’t open his mouth, but he finally closes his eyes. He lets Jongin kisses him, too comfortable with the warmth Jongin gives in this chilly morning. When Jongin uses his hands to graze Kyungsoo’s thighs, Kyungsoo accidentally opens his mouth to let out a moan. Jongin takes that chance to slip his tongue inside, exploring it again after all this time.

Kyungsoo eventually responds to his kiss by capturing Jongin’s lower lip and sucking it gently, with a hand now moved to Jongin’s nape, pulling him to deepen the kiss. Smacking sound fills the car with the way their tongues are dancing. Kyungsoo can feel his blood buzzing in his ears. Jongin’s lips are wonderful, and he misses this so much.

Kyungsoo doesn’t even remember what day it is when he shifts and makes his way to Jongin’s lap. Jongin cooperates by adjusting the seating so Kyungsoo will have more space. Kyungsoo is straddling Jongin as the shorter man circles his arms around Jongin’s neck, bringing them closer as he kisses Jongin hard on the mouth.

Jongin shudders when Kyungsoo starts jerking his hips. He _can_ feel Kyungsoo’s hardening erection through their jeans. Jongin finds Kyungsoo’s parka very disturbing so his hands start to remove the clothing and then tossing it away. Jongin’s warm palm sneaking under Kyungsoo’s black shirt; his palm mapping Kyungsoo’s soft skin and then finding its own way to Kyungsoo’s left nipple.

Kyungsoo moans when Jongin captures his nipple between his thumb and forefinger and tugging it lightly. Jongin smirks in between kisses, making Kyungsoo moves his hips more frantically. Jongin pulls back from the kiss and then ghosting over Kyungsoo’s exposed neck with his lips, wanting to leave marks there but that would be too obvious so he moves to Kyungsoo’s ear and bites it lightly instead.

Kyungsoo squirms on Jongin’s lap, his breath erratic from the friction beneath. His arms are tugging on Jongin’s soft hair, his mouth whispering Jongin’s name softly which Jongin finds it hot on his own ear. And when Jongin moves up his hips to meet Kyungsoo’s crotch, Kyungsoo makes a strangled noise from the back of his throat.

Jongin then puts his palm on Kyungsoo’s mouth, whispering that he needs to be careful because somebody might hear them. Kyungsoo nods. Kyungsoo’s closes his eyes, and then he licks Jongin’s palm that covers his mouth. Jongin understands so he put his thumb on Kyungsoo’s mouth, the latter sucking it while gripping Jongin’s wrist with two hands.

Jongin can’t think straight when all he hears is the obscene sounds caused by Kyungsoo’s sinful lips, and then he whispers to Kyungsoo’s ears, “Do you want it?”

Kyungsoo stops sucking, and slowly he nods.

If it’s really the last time he’s going to see Jongin, then so be it.

Jongin smirks looking at the blush on his cheek. He thumbs Kyungsoo’s cheek and kisses it softly.

Kyungsoo’s fingers run to Jongin’s waistband, his mouth open and eyes dark with lust. Jongin helps Kyungsoo undoing his own jeans’ button and when his hard erection is coming to sight, Kyungsoo wastes no time rubbing the length. Jongin jerks when Kyungsoo tugging his thumbs on Jongin’s slit, the smaller man chuckles as Jongin bites back his moan.

“I miss this,” he says.

Jongin agrees. So he cups Kyungsoo’s cheeks and then kisses his red lips before tugging at Kyungsoo’s waistband to open the zip and expose his erection. From now on, Jongin takes the lead. He grabs Kyungsoo’s arms and placing it on his shoulders. Jongin’s big hand envelope their dicks and start rubbing it together.

Kyungsoo’s hand palms Jongin toned chest after undoing three buttons of Jongin’s purple shirt, biting his lower lips to bite back a moan when Jongin’s hand set a new, quicker pace. He moves his hips to get more friction and when Kyungsoo’s vision fades to black, he can’t suppress his moan as he releases. His breath hitches and his forehead falls onto Jongin’s shoulder.

Jongin’s feeling hazy not long after Kyungsoo comes. Jongin mutters the mixture of swear words and Kyungsoo’s name as the white substance spurts violently on his hands. They stop moving, Jongin’s head is resting on the headrest. His clean hand rubs Kyungsoo’s back as he pulls him back from the crook of his neck.

“Hyung,” Jongin wipes the come that falls on Kyungsoo’s chin, the latter’s eyes still closed. His lips are red and swollen from kissing.

Kyungsoo slowly opens his eyes, his hands clutching on Jongin’s shoulders. In the sunlight that is filtered through the trees, and through Jongin’s car window, Kyungsoo’s silver ring glistened on his fingers. Kyungsoo stares at his ring. Instead of blinding him, the shining ring brings him back to the reality.

He doesn’t realize that he’s been sobbing when Jongin wipes the tear on Kyungsoo’s cheek. Jongin gives him one last kiss, and Kyungsoo makes it linger.

Slowly, Kyungsoo withdraws from Jongin’s lap. He doesn’t want to look at Jongin’s eyes anymore. He silently fixes his clothes and then combing his hair with his fingers to make him look more presentable.

“I should go,” he says, his voice croaks. He picks up his parka and opens the door.

He hears He hears Jongin shouting his name, but Kyungsoo doesn’t turn around.

It feels good, indeed, but it feels so so so so so so **  
**_so_  
wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

And Kyungsoo, in any way, cannot deny that he likes it.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

When Kyungsoo arrives to his room, his roommate has just woken up. Kyungsoo has an hour to get ready for work so he immediately takes a shower to wash the dirt, the sweat, and all the sin he has done today. He winces when he looks at his own lips on the mirror, plumpy and red and still swollen. He rubs it with the back on his hands to erase the memory of Jongin’s own lips, but hell how could he forget _that_?

 

 

Kyungsoo manages to get some sleep for a good fifteen minutes and then goes to work again. He wonders if Sehun will be on the set today because he doesn’t really want to meet anyone today.

Yoora notices that something might happen because Kyungsoo is quieter than before, and he tends to daze off. Kyungsoo accidentally knocks the wall so Yoora sends Kyungsoo off earlier. She even lets him to go home—to Seoul—because Kyungsoo’s shift ends tomorrow anyway, and then he can enjoy his holiday for ten days. But Kyungsoo doesn’t want to. He chooses to around in his room for the rest of the day.

He calls Chanyeol in the afternoon. When he hears his voice, he realizes that he’s been missing his boyfriend so much. Chanyeol even asks what’s wrong because Kyungsoo rarely calls him.

Kyungsoo doesn’t tell him anything, saying that he’s just missing him. Chanyeol laughs, and then teasing Kyungsoo because once again, he rarely says those kinds of thing to him.

“I miss you too, anyway. Come back here, I’ll give you warm big hug.”

 

 

Suddenly, Kyungsoo wants to go home.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Chanyeol picks him up at the train station later that evening. He was waiting in front of his car with a big smile and open arms, and then Kyungsoo practically throws himself at him.

“Whoa, whoa, my Kyungsoo really missed me so much, huh?”

Kyungsoo purses his lips and nuzzles himself to Chanyeol’s neck. He gives a light peck on Chanyeol’s neck. “What? You think I was lying?”

“No, I believe you. Let’s get inside, it’s cold.” Chanyeol lets Kyungsoo go and takes his duffle bag. He bends down to whisper on Kyungsoo’s ear. “People are watching. Let’s go somewhere where people can’t watch.”

Kyungsoo blinks, but he nods anyway.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Chanyeol takes Kyungsoo to his apartment. He says it’s best to go here because it’s much closer and it’s already late. Kyungsoo can go back to his dusty apartment tomorrow, he reasons, but really, Chanyeol just doesn’t want to waste the food he has cooked for both of them before Kyungsoo comes.

After Kyungsoo washes up, Chanyeol tells Kyungsoo to sleep in his room. Usually Kyungsoo would sleep in Chanyeol’s spare bedroom where his mom or sister sleep when they’re coming over, but now Kyungsoo doesn’t hesitate a bit when he steps into Chanyeol’s cozy room.

He slides himself beneath the comforter before snuggling closer to the big guy. Chanyeol kisses the crown of Kyungsoo’s head before mumbling ‘I love you’ to him.

Kyungsoo doesn’t say it back but instead, he searches for Chanyeol’s lips and brushes his lips with him. Chanyeol doesn’t expect this so he grins very widely when Kyungsoo continues to peck his jaw, his eyes, and his neck.

“Hey, is something wrong?” Chanyeol asks slowly. Kyungsoo isn’t really a clingy type so he’s confused when Kyungsoo is all touchy like this—but he enjoys it anyway.

“No.”

“You just miss me?”

“Hm,” Kyungsoo kisses Chanyeol and then he lays on top of him.

“Chanyeol-ah,” he pleads; eyes suddenly dark with lust. “I want you.”

Not a second later, Chanyeol pulls him down for a passionate kiss.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Soon Chanyeol flips him so Kyungsoo’s the one beneath, discarding his clothes one by one.

Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol kisses him; on his neck, on his chest, on his thigh. He kisses him back almost as enthusiastically when Chanyeol’s tongue swirls inside his mouth, hands roaming everywhere, feeling Kyungsoo’s smoothness.

Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol take him for tonight because he wants to wash away his sin with Chanyeol’s lips—

—to erase the trace of Kim Jongin on his skin.

 

 

 

 

In the morning, Chanyeol doesn’t find Kyungsoo beside him when he wakes up.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Kyungsoo ignores any phone calls and text messages. He doesn’t even check them. He just stays in his apartment for three days and coming out only to buy food, and then he shuts himself again.

He doesn’t shower. He doesn’t sleep either, because if he sleeps, all of his dreams are only about Jongin and nothing else.

One day in the afternoon, somebody knocks the door. Kyungsoo thinks it is the delivery man, but Sehun stands there instead. Sehun is shocked when he sees Kyungsoo’s state, especially when his house is messier than his place. So he throws his hyung to the bathroom and makes him shower, and then kidnaps him for lunch, before heading to their usual gym.

“Burn those fats and fight the laziness, hyung!” He says. For reasons he has yet to fathom, Kyungsoo lets Sehun take care of him. So he slowly climbs on the treadmill and set the machine in walking pace.

“How are you feeling now, hyung?”

“I’m tired. Let’s go home after this,”

Sehun rolls his eyes. “You haven’t told me what happened between you and Jongin in Gyeongju. So how was it? Did you guys make up already?”

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and then sighs heavily. “I don’t know, Sehun. We just—talked, and then everything feels so wrong. I should’ve never met him. This is all your fault.”

“Why?”

“I can’t think straight, Sehun.” Kyungsoo punches the stop button and places his hands on his hips. “I’ve been building a wall to separate my past and my present, but then Jongin hits it and break it. And now I don’t even know where the border is. He keeps coming back to my head and when I distract myself with everything—with job, with Chanyeol, I can’t seem to get rid of him.”

This time Sehun sets the treadmill into walking pace. “It’s actually simple, hyung.” He pants. He tries to control his breath first, and then reassuring Kyungsoo again. “You love Jongin. You always have. You will. You _do_. Maybe it’s time to stop denying your own feelings and accept that your heart cannot accept any other person beside Jongin. You guys _still_ love each other and that’s it.”

“Sehun, I have a boyfriend. You know that.”

“I do! I know, hyung. But you love Jongin.” He looks at his hyung in disbelief. Sehun wipes his perspiration with the towel that hangs around his neck, and the girls running accross them giggles when Sehun does that. “Tell me, hyung, who occupies your mind most of the time? Your sick grandmother? Your job? Just like the ads in the billboard say; If you can’t think about it, buy it. If you can’t think about him, then you love him!”

Kyungsoo sighs. “But I don’t—“

Sehun covers his ears with his hands. “Aaaaablablablabla I can’t hear you aaaaalalalalalla you’re so full of denial hyung stop it aaaaaa…”

Kyungsoo pouts.

Despite any of that, Sehun still lets Kyungsoo left the gym after he sweats enough.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Kyungsoo finally replies everyone’s message the day after, including Chanyeol’s text. And after an hour of sending Chanyeol a message, the tall guy rings his bell and brings him a plastic bag with two boxes of takoyaki.

He greets Kyungsoo with big smile, but he doesn’t ask anything about Kyungsoo’s absence in this few days. He pretends as if nothing happened, and Kyungsoo realy appreciates it. Kyungsoo eats the takoyaki hungrily, saying that it’s the best snack ever. He bids Chanyeol goodbye when the night comes, the latter says that he will come again at eight in the morning, and says that hopefully Kyungsoo will have showered by then.

Kyungsoo is so lucky. He has supportive friends, cooperating boss, a nice job, and a loving boyfriend. He should be grateful. He hugs Chanyeol awkwardly before sending him home at the doorframe.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

At eight o’clock, Kyungsoo has breakfast already and he has showered. He changes into comfortable clothes, the ring given by Chanyeol encircles his left ring finger.

The ring feels heavy; but he doesn’t want to disappoint Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo wears his best smile when Chanyeol knocks at eight thirty, but then the red-haired man styles his hair up and wears dark slacks, white dress shirt, and a black blazer on top of that.

“We’re going to a wedding today! And you can’t say no.”

Chanyeol pulls Kyungsoo to his closet and then picks him the best attire he has. Kyungsoo put them on after kicking Chanyeol out of his room (he insists he wants to see him change), and then comes out after he combs his hair.

“You look wonderful.” Chanyeol smiles when he sees Kyungsoo in all-black suit and a beige shirt.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

They arrive at the venue right on time. Kyungsoo asks whose wedding it is, but Chanyeol says that he doesn’t know either. He comes in his sister’s stead since Yoora is still working in Gyeongju. The groom is Yoora’s college friend.

“It’s… Choi Seungyoon and Kim Minji’s wedding.” Chanyeol reads the invitation again before they head out of the car.

“Kim Minji?”

“Yeah. My sister knows the groom, Seungyoon-hyung. They’re college friend. You don’t mind coming as my date, do you?”

“No, of course not.”

“I heard one of the siblings is an important person. I wonder who…”

As they enter the venue, Chanyeol smiles to the big family who stand on the foyer from afar before pulling Kyngsoo with him.

Kyungsoo doesn’t need his glasses to make sure that the Kims there are the Kims, a family whom Kyungsoo knows really well. It is Jongin’s family. He lets out a sigh when he remembers that Kim Minji is actually Jongin’s sister.

Jongin himself stands there too. He is smiling, greeting the other guest as he bows. His hair is styled up and his grey suit really fits him.

Kyungsoo chuckles.

Of course, Kim Minji. The name isn’t that unfamiliar because Jongin had mentioned her numerous time—Minji noona this, Minji-noona that. Of course.

Kyungsoo’s knees are turning into jelly. He isn’t sure if he better runs and leaves Chanyeol, but before he even finished thinking, Chanyeol already introduced him to the Chois. Kyungsoo smiles at them, and when they’re about to greet the Kims, he clutches at Chanyeol’s pinky finger.

Jongin meets his eyes. The sun-kissed man stares at Kyungsoo in astonishment, and then turns to look at Chanyeol.

“Kyungsoo-hyung.”

The two of them stares at each other, but Chanyeol is the one who notice this and nudges Kyungsoo in the elbow. “You know him?”

Jongin notices Chanyeol and bows at him. “Hello, I’m Kyungsoo’s… old friend. My name’s Kim Jongin—”

Chanyeol’s smile fades when he hears the name. He bows back a little and continues to greet the other Kims and then pulls Kyungsoo to get inside the church.

Chanyeol knows about Jongin.

Kyungsoo's ex has always been a sensitive topic amongst Kyungsoo's friends. This part of Kyungsoo's past is and will always be known not because Kyungsoo often talks about his ex-boyfriend, but because Kyungsoo's friend always tease him about that even in casual conversation. Baekhyun even makes some meme about Kyungsoo and Jongin and spread the pic in their circle of friends. Not to mention that Kyungsoo's boyfriend(s) are no less nosy than Baekhyun himself.

Actually, the postcards pasted by magnets on fridge are the real culprit. Kyungsoo does not want to pull them off because that would make his fridge looks less aesthetic so he's just never remove it from there. He doesn't expect anyone to pick them, flip the card and read the words written behind them (they're mostly silly poems and puns anyway) but he just needs to tell them who's "J", the sender of every British postcard.

Chanyeol also knows. He even remembers one of the puns and used it once but that makes Kyungsoo to be sulky all day. That's when Chanyeol knows that Kyungsoo can't really forget this person.

‘The legendary ex’ is the nickname.

Kyungsoo hears Chanyeol mutters softly, “So Yoora-noona was right.”

 

 

✈✈✈

 

They spend the whole wedding without saying anything to each other. They clap when they have to, and they smile when they need to. When they were feasting, Kyungsoo excuses himself to the restroom. Chanyeol scoffs at that. “Wanna meet your ex?”

Kyungsoo just sighs. “I want to pee.”

But fate must hate Kyungsoo because he meets Jongin in the hallway. He is leaning to the wall, hands on his pockets. Jongin seems to wait for Kyungsoo too.

“Hyung, wait.” Jongin grabs Kyungsoo softly on his arms and then pulls him into a more secluded hallway. “We always meet at unexpected place.”

“Indeed we do,” Kyungsoo agrees. Just how eager the universe is for wanting them to meet again _and_ again? He’s so done with this.

“I tried calling you, hyung—Sehun gave me your number. But it’s always off.”

“Yeah. I didn’t want to be disturbed.”

“You left Gyeongju without telling me,”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Why sould I?”

Jongin’s shoulders sag. ”No, no, you didn’t have to. But at least, if you told me, I could’ve accompanied you to the station.” Jongin clears his throat. “Is he… Is the guy from before your boyfriend?”

Kyungsoo nods. His gaze falls onto Jongin’s shiny shoes, and he starts to fiddle with his fingers.

“Oh… Alright. He seems nice.” Jongin nods. “Hyung, I’ll be going back to London tomorrow. So I think this is farewell.”

When Jongin doesn’t get any response from Kyungsoo, his hand reaches for Kyungsoo’s left cheek. Kyungsoo’s shoulders become tense, but he lets Jongin anyway. He always lets him.

“But before that, I need to know something. Please tell me that you love him. That you’re madly in love with him, so I can let you go. All I care about is your happiness now.”

_Why, Jongin. Why._

Kyungsoo finally rests his gaze on Jongin’s eyes. “Yes, I love him,” he says, trying to be as convincing as possible.

Jongin nods. His eyes glint with water. “That’s good. That’s alright…” He rubs Kyungsoo’s cheek with his thumbs.

Kyungsoo still lets him.

“One more thing, hyung. Now tell me that the kiss—w-what we did when we last met—means nothing to you; that it was a mistake.”

Kyungsoo lets Jongin transferring the warmth—the love—from his palms to his cheek before answering.

_No, it’s not a mistake. It means everything to me._

“It was a mistake.”

Jongin nods and withdraws his hand from Kyungsoo’s cheek. He smiles at Kyungsoo, the warmest smile that he gives today.

Kyungsoo looks at him, his hands are balling into fists. He tries so hard not to let the tears in his eyes fall, not to hug Jongin for the last time.

“Farewell, Kim Jongin.”

“Farewell, hyung.” Jongin bows to him. “Thank you for coming.”

Kyungsoo nods and then he leaves.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

After the wedding party, Chanyeol doesn't drop Kyungsoo at home rightaway. He makes a turn in Yeongdong Avenue and then stops by the COEX Aquarium. It is the aquarium when Chanyeol confessed about his feelings seven months ago.

They are walking towards the Open Ocean exhibition. Kyungsoo follows Chanyeol silently, the shorter man hugging his suit jacket as he sits beside Chanyeol on one of the bench.

"You know, I believe that relationship won't work if the two of them don't communicate well." Chanyeol starts. He looks at the fish swimming behind the glass walls, most of them are blue and yellow and green. Kyungsoo listens. "My past relationships also didn't work because of miscommunication. I can't stand long distance relationship because I'm gonna miss my lover so bad and I don't know what to do if I reach my limit.

"I care about you so much, Kyungsoo. I text you every day to know if you're doing fine. I don't know if you find it annoying, being so nosy and somehow possessive, but that's just me trying to keep our relationship. We don't actually have any distance problem; we only live two stations away and your friends are my friends too. Well, except your celebrity friends.

"But lately, Kyungsoo, only lately, I feel like you are not here when you're beside me. You’re just an arm's length away but your soul wanders, and I can't find the light in your eyes anymore. I wonder where you're going, across the ocean? To England, perhaps?"

"What… what are you trying to say, Chanyeol?" Kyungsoo whispers.

"What I'm gonna say is, I think I'm the only one who's trying to keep this relationship afloat. I know you loved me; I never doubt, Kyungsoo—at least until several days ago when you make love to me out of guilt."

Kyungsoo replies in bewilderment, "…out of _guilt_?” He hissed at the last word. “Why did you suddenly say that? What do you mean, Chanyeol? We’re doing fine—we just bumped into my old friend and then he’ll be gone anyway why are you telling me this now?"

Chanyeol shuts Kyungsoo by grabbing his hand and squeezing it with both of his hands. "Kyungsoo, I know everything.”

He takes a deep breath.

“When are you going to tell me that you met Jongin in Gyeongju? Yoora-noona told me. You guys met on set, and then at night he took you with him.”

Kyungsoo gulps. He thinks he knows where this conversation will be going. “It’s not like what you think—we just talked and we went for a drive, and that’s all.”

“Kyungsoo, listen to me. You came back the next morning. I didn't know what the two of you did, I don’t actually care—but still—you should've told me. Or maybe, you should’ve not met him at all. You know I don’t like this. We’ve talked about this before, Kyungsoo.”

"But we didn’t do anything—“ Kyungsoo tries to look at Chanyeol, but then he is never a good liar. “He… he kissed me. But it was a mistake, Chanyeol. I’m—sorry.”

Chanyeol sighs. “So you guys kissed. Okay.” He still holds Kyungsoo's arm in his hands and then look at Kyungsoo in the eyes deeply. "Then tell me, Kyungsoo, do you love me?"

Kyungsoo looks at him in the eyes, his eyes start watering and he thinks about how dare he, Park Chanyeol, questioning his feelings?

“You can’t lie, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo could've just said yes, but there's a lump in his throat and he can’t lie to anyone anymore. Including Chanyeol.

Including himself.

"Chanyeol, I..."

As Chanyeol closes his eyes and smile, he withdraws his hands and then pats Kyungsoo on the head.

In Kyungsoo's hesitation, Chanyeol finds the answer.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

The next day, Kyungsoo wakes up earlier than before. He jogs around the neighborhood for a good twenty minutes, and then showers and changes into comfortable clothes.

His hand doesn’t feel heavy anymore. There’s no silver ring encircles his fingers; he has put it back in the box and buried it in the furthermost part of his drawer. He might never open it anymore. Chanyeol doesn’t call him or sending him a good morning text like usual. Of course he won’t.

He’ll have to thank Chanyeol somehow, anyway. He has been a great friend. But he still can ask about Chanyeol’s whereabout to Yoora. She’s the reason they were dating, anyway. Kyungsoo is sure Yoora will understand. She’s the kindest sister out there; a sister he never has.

Today, Kyungsoo finally cleans his dusty apartment. People say that cleaning is therapeutic, and Kyungsoo believes that. He likes the smell of the fruity air freshener, the smell of pine in his bathroom, and he likes it when the floor is shining, reflecting the furniture.

He collects the garbage and throws out leftover food that's left on his counter, and then throwing away three packs of natto that have been expired two weeks ago. His fridge reeks of the fermented soybean, but he'll take care of that later. He wonders why he likes natto when the smell is just unbearable.

He wants to make breakfast, but his fridge is almost empty now. He has nothing to cook. So he slams the fridge a little too hard out of annoyance until one of the magnet falls out, along with the postcard.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

It is a postcard of Blackfriars Bridge with a line saying "when the two souls meet" qith fancy font on it. Kyungsoo sits on the floor and sits Indian style.

He flips the card, seeing Jongin's uneven, small handwriting. He reads it in Jongin's excited tone:

_"HyunGg!! I found a reaaaally cool song and I think this is me some times ago when I'm afraid that you'll say no to me when I asked you out?? Hehehe. This is a super simple acoustic song and the lyrics have no fancy words in it but they're just so beautiful?? Like you? Hehe. The title is the 'The Fear You Won't Fall'. Listen to it sometimes._

_Love, J._

_PS. I received your package!! Thank you for the kimchi. x_

Kyungsoo knows the song by heart and as his eyes close, he suddenly hears violin in his head. He hums the song without any hesitation.

_Come find me_  
  
It hasn’t felt like this before  
It hasn’t felt like home before you  
  
And I miss you more than I should  
But I thought I could  
Can’t get my mind off of you  
  
I know you’re scared that I’ll soon be over it  
That’s part of it all  
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you—  
  
—is the fear you won’t fall 

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath.

He clutches hard at the postcard, but still careful so he won't bend it.

He searches his phone and he finds it on the couch. He punches Sehun’s number, doesn’t care if he’s working or not. He mutters “thank God” when Sehun answers it in the third beep.

‘Yeah, hyung?’

“Sehun do you know when Jongin will come back to London?”

‘What? Hyung are you sure? Why do you ask?’

" _When_ , Sehun?" He hisses.

‘Urm, if I'm not mistaken he'll take afternoon flight but I don't know but I think he hasn't taken off yet he just texted me a while ago and—‘

Without even bothering to finish him talk, Kyungsoo shortly replies, "Thanks."

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Jongin insists that his mother and sister not to wait for his plane, because really, he’s an adult now. But his mother doesn’t want to leave the lounge, not when she still can see his son whom she doesn’t know when he will be coming home again.

Jongin is talking to his sister about the upcoming election when his mother nudges his elbow.

“Dear, isn’t that your friend? I forgot the name… Who is it?” His mother points her finger to a man who is looking around, walking to and fro.

Jongin follows his mother’s direction and squinting his eyes to see who it is. Could it be Sehun? But he doesn’t find the tall, lanky man—instead he finds a short guy who’s wearing a green parka. _The_ green parka.

Jongin stands up and then hands his bag to his sister. “Hold it for me and wait!”

He runs towards Kyungsoo, _his Kyungsoo hyung_ , and then he catches his arms.

Kyungsoo turns around, his mouth opens to say something but maybe he is speechless. Jongin smiles the widest he can. “You’re here, hyung.”

“Jongin! I’ve been looking for you. When are you taking off?”

Jongin looks at his watch. “About half an hour from now,”

“Thank God.” Kyungsoo sighs of relief. When he realizes that Jongin is holding him, he detaches himself from Jongin abruptly. “H-hey, it’s a public place, Jongin. What if reporter sees you…”

Jongin laughs. He takes Kyungsoo’s hand again. “It’s okay, hyung. My reporters are just teenage fangirls and they are not capable of publishing a big headline news. Besides, I don’t think I’m that famous.”

Jongin drags him to sit on the empty chairs just near his families. Kyungsoo notices Jongin’s mother and sister, so he bows before sitting beside Jongin. His sister waves at him. They were friends, after all. Taerin-noona used to tease them back in high school.

The airport is noisy, but that’s an advantage because anyone will never overhear them.

“What makes you come? I thought we bid goodbyes already.”

Kyungsoo looks at Jongin shyly. “I… came here because of this.” He hands Jongin a small brown box. He opens it slowly and takes out whatever inside.

They are Jongin’s postcards. The colors are fading, Jongin notices, as flips through them. “God, my handwriting was so ugly. So you still keep it. Hyung, why are you showing me this?” He turns his head to Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo smiles. “Thousands of miles, Jongin. These postcards had flown thousands of miles to connect us. And I just don’t want their effort to be wasted.”

Jongin smiles, but he still doesn’t understand.

Kyungsoo continues. “I’ve known you for almost ten years. You’ve been occupying my mind for ten years. You are my love for ten years—ten years and still counting.” He sighs. “I was lying to you, Jongin. I was lying when I said I love my boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend. I was lying when I said the kiss means nothing to me.”

Jongin is taken aback. He doesn’t say anything for a good minute, and then he chuckles. He nods vigorously. “I believed the first part, hyung, but I know you were lying when you said the kiss was nothing. I know you _clearly_ enjoyed by how you kissed me back.” Jongin leans in to whisper to Kyungsoo. “Especially when you let me touch you,”

Kyungsoo’s ears redden, and then he smacks Jongin softly on his arm. “Shut it, Jongin!”

“It’s okay. I know I’m irresistible.” Jongin teases him. He winks at the embarrassed Kyungsoo.

“Well—!” Kyungsoo clears his throat, “What I mean is, distance shouldn’t be an obstacle. It should be a reminder of how strong our love can be, and—and it should give me a reason to—to—“

Jongin laughs. He put the postcard box and takes both of Kyungsoo’s hands in his. He rubs the back of Kyungsoo’s hands with his thumbs, and then Jongin smiles when he notices that Kyungsoo doesn’t wear the silver ring anymore.

“Save your speech, hyung, I get it. I love you too.”

Kyungsoo squirms in his seat. “You got it?”

“I got it. You are madly in love with me. So I should take this chance or I’ll be murdered by Sehun for making you miserable again. You _dumped_ your boyfriend for me. Wow!”

Kyungsoo’s lips pulls into a smile. “Yeah. That’s the things I do for love,” He squeezes Jongin’s hand back. “But you’re still going home to London. And I’ll be left alone. Again.”

“Going _home_? Wait, I’m going to _work_ , hyung. My home is here. Wherever you are, that’s my home.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “You have a sweet mouth.”

“Listen, hyung. I still have some papers to sign with the agency and then I’ll be free. My contract with the agency will be over this December.”

“You said your agency wants to renew the contract with you?”

Jongin shrugs. “I can always reject.” He squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand. “So, until then, would you wait for me?”

Kyungsoo slowly smiles, the most sincere Jongin has ever seen. “Always, Jongin. Isn’t that what I’ve been doing in the past seven years?”

Jongin groans, he takes a deep breath. “Hyung, can I kiss you?”

“It’s an _airport_ ,” Kyungsoo hisses.

Jongin purses his lips. He grips Kyungsoo’s hand tighter, then. They are kissing by their entwined fingers, by their gaze, by their smile. It is enough as long as they know that they love each other.

Kyungsoo lets go of Jongin’s hand when Jongin’s going to board, and then Jongin eventually hugs him after he hugs his mother and his sister. Kyungsoo also steals a peck on his neck when Jongin’s hugging him.

 

 

✈✈✈

 

Jongin and Kyungsoo’s past will be a story—a story of long, boring days and lonely nights. They know the pain of being apart, even when it gives some bruises. But wound heals. _Time_ heals. Both of them are waithing for the day when they don’t have to miss each other anymore.

And that time will come, someday.

“See you later, hyung!”

“See you, Jongin.”

 

 

 

 

 

✈✈✈

 

**Three months later…**

It’s at Incheon Airport again. Kyungsoo dials Jongin’s number, but the operator lady answers him instead.

_‘The number you are calling is not active—‘_

Kyungsoo curses. He has been waiting at the airport for an hour, and it is too cold. The snow is falling outside, and he is still waiting for his lover.

He tries to call with LineCall to try some luck, and luckily Jongin answers it.

“Where the fuck are you, Kim Jongin? I’m in front of Gate 7!”

_‘Hyung—I’m sorry.’_ He answers with a low voice, as if he’s in the middle of a meeting and not supposed to answer a call. _‘I forgot to tell you yesterday. Something urgent came up so I have to stay in London until—‘_

“What the _fuck_ , Jongin, you little piece of shit?!” Kyungsoo raises his voice. He doesn’t care when people starts to stare at him. “You’re still in _London_?!”

_‘Hyung. I’m sorry. I have to hang up. My client is here.’_

And then the line goes dead. Kyungsoo stares at his phone in disbelief, his mouth is still open.

Kyungsoo is about to punch the wall when someone _throws_ himself from behind and circles his arms around him. Kyungsoo almost fell.

“Gotcha, hyung!”

Kyungsoo turns his head with much difficulty and sees Jongin laughing his hearts out. “Kim _fucking_ Jongin!”

Kyungsoo releases himself as Jongin wipes the corner of his eyes from laughing too much.

“You should’ve seen your face,”

Kyungsoo punches him on his chest, and Jongin winces at that. “Come with me you ungrateful shit, Sehun’s waiting in the car.”

Jongin still giggles, even when he gets in the car. Both of them sit at the back seat because Baekhyun sits at the passenger seat. Jongin gives his senior a highfive before Sehun gives them an annoyed look. “What took you so long?!”

“Your friend tries to pull a prank. And don’t speak informal to me, Oh Sehun.” Kyungsoo snaps.

“You’ve grown up so much, Jongin!” Baekhyun’s eyes glisten as he sees Jongin for the first time after all these years.

“I am! You’re still clinging to Sehun?”

“If you mean the other way round, then yes. Sehun can’t live without me.”

Sehun pouts and drives the car anyway, leaving the airport with much annoyance because the two people at the back won’t stop bickering. Baekhyun only shakes his head, but he’s smiling widely because this reminds him to high school time when everything is beautiful and happy and perfect.

And they’re back on track.

Sehun hopes that the two friends at the back will end the fight and brings back the calmness in his car but he regrets it later so much because when they are not fighting, they are kissing.

“Baekhyun-hyung, please tell them to stop! My virgin ears need to be saved!”

 

 

F I N

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you made it! Thank you for finishing reading this fanfiction, I hope you at least find it... entertaining? Lol. I almost wanted to delete this fanfic from the net and leaving no trace whatsoever, but remembering that I wrote this fic when my head's bleeding (literally), I'm gonna give it a try. Any comment, con-crit, will be very appreciated.


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